leave it to me to be holding the matches when the firetrucks show up and there's nobody else to blame ;)
Miranda ;)
how to give a good handjob
- bop it
- pull it
- twist it
- harder
- better
- faster
- stronger
You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!Cha cha real smooth
none of you ever touch a penis
(via georgia-dream)
Know your roses guys
Or you just might fuck up the momentand you dont want to do that ._.
salmon is for desire
That’s not even a Salmon that’s a fucking carp!
(Source: hypothetical-happiness, via georgia-dream)
I forget that old cameras don’t always have to take formal pictures
(Source: nearmercury, via twentyfiveinchwaste)
never thought i would actually like something from Shakepeare…but this line is genius
(Source: p-refect, via timespentwandering)
girls are attracted to assholes because in elementary school girls were told “if he’s mean to you that means he likes you”
the da vinci code has been cracked
(via liveinaglass)
I’m going to have to ask you to pop lock and drop the attitude, young lady.
(Source: butterpopsicle, via liveinaglass)
from now on I’m going to convey sarcasm over the internet by typing like this
oh wow look how sarcastic that looks
that actually does look really sarcastic though. this is revolutionary
DEAR GOD SOMEONE HAS INVENTED THE SARCASM FONT THIS IS A TIME FOR CELEBRATION
(via liveinaglass)
my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him
(via liveinaglass)
